


Song For Lonely Giants

by SalaciaVerena



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Emperor Kylo Ren, Empress Rey, F/M, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Marriage Contracts, Marriage of Convenience, Rey Nobody, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:01:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23584261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalaciaVerena/pseuds/SalaciaVerena
Summary: In an alternate universe where the galactic senate acknowledges the legitimacy and need for a supreme leader to rule alongside them, Kylo Ren reigns.  However, an offer is made to him by the weakening senate, an offer to become emperor.  The catch? Empires are built on dynasties.  Not willing to risk fights for power in future generations, the senate tells Kylo, "Find a wife, produce an heir, build a dynasty, gain an empire."  But how to find a wife that doesn't have previous political alliances or future machinations?  Marry a nobody, of course.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey
Comments: 135
Kudos: 342





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of quick exposition here to set up the main plot

Being Supreme Leader was tiring.Kylo Ren couldn’t imagine it would be much better when he finally became emperor, but it wasn’t like that was going to happen anytime soon anyway.Damn terms and conditions.He thought when he had destroyed Snoke that things would fall into place.A lifetime of struggle and pain and for what?At one point he would’ve told anyone that supreme leader would’ve been enough for him.He hadn’t known then that emperor was an option.

When the senate had recognized Snoke and the First Order as a legitimate option for government, Kylo had been shocked.There wasn’t a universe in which he had believed that the republican senate would acknowledge the need for a single, universal power.But they had done it before with Palpatine, so what did he know?The galaxy’s history had a way of repeating itself if his own family’s saga was any guide.

The Senate recognized Snoke and worked him into their fuller government with legitimacy.At first things had been smooth.Almost normal.With Snoke in power things began to fall into place.The Senate decided that there would still be a republic but final decisions would fall to a supreme leader.The first few major decisions that Snoke had to decide went off without a hitch.But rage burned in Kylo.It wasn’t enough.

He knew of Snoke’s plans, his long-term designs for the galaxy, to exterminate the senate.Partial power wasn’t enough for Snoke.His design was to lure them into his trust before eliminating them all, leaving power only for him.Kylo wasn’t foolish enough to believe that he had any place in a new order like that.Measures would have to be taken.

Killing Snoke had been easy.He’d fantasized about it for years.Ever since he was small and Snoke had wormed his way into his head, hurling abuse at him, isolating him from everyone he knew, his hatred had grown.He had depended on Snoke for power but the vitriol in his heart for the man who had warped him always lay dormant. 

Once Snoke was out of the way ( _an accident, how tragic)_ , he was the obvious choice for the next Supreme Leader.Power agreed with him.The creature in the mask now had the senate at his back.His power was not unlimited but he had the final say.For the first time in his life, Kylo Ren was at the top of the food chain.Unfortunately the Senate was right there next to him, but it was enough.

That is, it was enough until he found out about the emperor clause. 

The Senate had grown accustomed to having one person in power to ease disputes.It began to long for the days of the empire again, the stability.But empires are built on dynasties.In order to have an emperor, you’d have to have someone willing to sire heirs, build a generation, build a kingdom and secure power forever in order to prevent the petty scuffles and battles for power in the future.The Senate came to him with a proposition.Commit to the terms and become emperor.Agree and be handed eternal and omnipotent power. 

Empires are built on dynasties and in order to become emperor, Kylo had to commit to wanting to build one. 

But how to do that?He had built a reputation for being a man of aesthetics.Women weakened the will and he hadn’t allowed them to complicate the equation over the years.Not to mention that most women in the galaxy knew his fearsome reputation.Half would cower in fear and the other half might try to kill him or manipulate his power.Neither were good options for wives. 

So here he was, trying to figure out the best way to find a bride.He never imagined that ultimate power would come with this kind of task, but he never could’ve predicted any of this to begin with anyway.He scrolled through the holopad Hux had given him, loaded with profiles of “suitable wives.”None of these women were suitable.They were little more than courtesans willing to sell themselves for the chance to be close to power.They disgusted him.

His lips curled as an unwanted thought came to him. _This must’ve been how his mother felt._ Princess of Alderaan and the only way she found someone to judge her for her character was to marry a commoner, a smuggler.He hadn’t spoken to either of them in so long.They had opposed him, his connection to the dark side, his alignment with Snoke, his quest for power.He certainly didn’t intend to see them now, now that it might be agreeable for them. 

Unlike his mother, he wasn’t looking for a marriage of equals.Just a marriage of convenience.

He threw the holopad against the wall.This wasn’t getting anywhere.Besides.He had work to do.It was time to make a deal with all of the Hutts.Their backing was important.The biggest gangsters of the galaxy would be an important ally. 

__________________________

Rey was a nobody.Actually, she wished that was all there was to it.But she had become something worse than a nobody - a nobody that people knew about.The thugs on Niima outpost knew her name and they had decided that she owed them. 

After selling a faulty part that had blown up a ship that was a sizable investment for the gangsters, Shuga had decided that Rey owed the Hutts for everything.All two hundred thousand credits. 

Rey had seen about seventy credits cross her plate over her lifetime working as a scavenger on Jakku.She worked mostly for food and water, anything to stay alive.Almost anything.Rey would never stoop to their level.Her stomach turned at the thought.Even if it meant she could never get ahead she would never do anything that wasn’t honest.She would never sell her body.It would never be enough to be honest though.She knew in her heart of hearts that she was never getting off this sand wasteland of a world.She would eek out her days for the rest of her life until she became too withered to work and she would never even make a dent in her debt.Unless they killed her before then.Either option was unsavory. 

She sighed finished polishing off the last piece of scrap metal and added it to the bag.It was the same thing she had done everyday for as long as she could remember.It would be what she did until she died.

__________________________

Kylo went to Jakku alone.After the disaster on Tatooine when the Hutts had sensed his large military presence as a disrespect, he wasn’t prepared to make the same mistake twice.He set his tie fighter down behind a dune and made his way to his meeting.

__________________________

Things went better than expected with the Hutts of Jakku, perhaps due to his change in tactics.He was sitting with them now as they sloshed spotchka over one another.He didn’t drink, but he was more than happy to pretend until it was time to leave this backwoods wasteland. 

“Shuga!” one of the underlings called.“Time for the scavenger to make her payment.”There was a cruel look in his eyes and all of the Hutts began to laugh.A curtain was thrust aside and…. A girl came in.That was not what he was expecting.She was young, maybe seven or eight years younger than him, scrawny and covered in sand.It was caked onto her through her sweat.She tossed two coins down at the elephantine feet of Shuga.

“That’s two more for you,” she spat.In the faces of what were no doubt the most powerful men on her planet, she showed no fear.Her shoulders were set back and there was a hard glint in her eyes. 

Shuga motioned for one of his scantily clad servant girls to pick up the coins at his feet.“And how many does that leave you with, Scavenger?”

To her credit, the girl didn’t break eye contact but you could hear her heart sink as she said, “One hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and seventy two.”

Shuga’s smugness dripped down his corpulent body and he grinned with delight.“That’s right, Rey.I’ll see you next week.”

The girl turned shoulder and left the cantina. _Interesting_.He hadn’t seen that much bravery in the face of power since his rise to supreme leader.A thought crossed his mind.He laughed at the lunacy of it, surreptitiously dumped his drink into a plant and then motioned for a servant girl to bring him more.

__________________________

Tears of anger and humiliation fell down Rey’s face as she marched away from the cantina.She knew what she was in for when she walked in there, but it didn’t make it any less awful each time. 

The man in dark clothes had been a new face in the cantina.He didn’t belong there, not in any way at all.He was clean and despite his heavy layers, appeared unaffected by the heat.He hadn’t appeared to be drunk and certainly wasn’t raucous.Rey wondered what business he could possibly have on Jakku.

Such things didn’t concern her.She found her way back to her fallen AT-AT that she called home and prepared herself to be hungry.She could only afford to eat a quarter portion today if she was going to make her rations last all week.This was her life now, in debt to the Hutts.

__________________________

Night had fallen and through the darkness, Rey heard someone approaching.She bolted up from her sleeping pad.Crouching down she grabbed her staff and prepared to smack whoever dared to come into her home.She wasn’t a stranger to men from the cantina thinking they could prey upon a girl who lived alone, but Rey was prepared.She leaned back behind the corner and lay waiting to strike.

One slow breath in and then she spun round the face of the AT-AT.

It was the man from the cantina.The stranger.He had caught her staff with ease and held it now, preventing her from attacking him again.

“What do you want?” she spat.He chuckled and Rey grew wary.

“How do you know I want something?”

Rey shrugged,“Everyone wants something.Just depends what.”

The man smiled.“You’re not wrong there.If I release your staff will you promise not to try to hit me again?I’m not here to hurt you.”Rey wasn’t sure why but she trusted this man.He didn’t belong on Jakku with his dark swirling robes with pale skin, skin that seemed to have never seen the sun.Maybe he was different.

She nodded and he released the staff and continued, “It is my understanding that you’re in debt to the Hutts.”She gave one more quick, tight nod.“Well you’ll be relieved to find out that you’re not any longer.”

Rey let out a breath. _Impossible._

“I was in debt nearly two hundred thousand credits…. How - why?”

“I know this must seem improbable, but hear me out all the way and then you can make your decision.”He paused and motioned to inside the AT-AT.“May I come in?”

“No.”She was short and direct, but inside she was embarrassed for him to see the squalor she lived in.“We can talk perfectly fine out here.”

“Okay then.” He carried on without missing a beat.“I take it you do not know who I am and that’s good.I’ll tell you this.I have a proposition for you.I have bought out your debt with the Hutts so you don’t need to worry about them anymore.In return you have two options.First, you can thank me and send me on my way while you continue your meager scavenger life here on this wasteland of a planet.It’s a fine option and you don’t owe me anything.If you want to walk away from the second option you can.However, option number two is that you marry me.”

She started to protest and he held out a hand for her to stop.“Listen, I didn’t pay the Hutts all that money to buy you or to make you owe me.That’s why you have option one still.But I do want you to see that I can take you away from here.It would be a contract.We could discuss the terms and you would never need to do anything you wouldn’t want.But I need a wife.I can’t… inherit… unless I marry and that’s where you come in.”

Rey was impatient, “But why me?I’m a nobody.”

“I don’t mean this as an offense, but that’s why I want you.”It was insulting as hell but Rey sensed that there was some honesty behind his words.He genuinely thought it was a good thing.“The options I have of women who want to marry me want me for my power and my power alone.They can’t be trusted.I need someone who isn’t afraid of power.You showed that when you faced down the Hutts with a measly two credits in hand.This can be to both of our benefit.You get off Jakku and become the most powerful woman in the galaxy and I get a wife who I can guarantee has no previous political alliances or political machinations planned.”

“Wait.The most powerful woman in the _galaxy_?”

He smirked.“Oh, I mean to make you empress, scavenger.That’s the deal.”His eyes grew hooded and Rey sensed that suddenly she held the power, the power to say yes or no. It was intoxicating, a freedom she had never before felt.

“I want to discuss terms,” she said.

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s a yes for now.Get me out of here and we can talk more.”

He reached for her hand, “I’m Kylo Ren.”

Reaching out to take it, she said, “Rey.”As her hand touched his, something shot through her.It was electric and struck her in her gut.She had never felt anything like it.

“Rey, how fitting.An empress isn’t really a queen, but close enough.”He guided her over the dunes hand in hand.“Now let’s get down to business.”


	2. The Contract

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo discuss some of the first terms of the contract for their marriage

The tie fighter was of course too small to take both him and Rey back, so he hailed a ship to be brought to them.He and Rey waited in the moonlight in the vast desert.The pale cast of the moon had washed everything colorless.Here in the light under the banner of stars, Rey was beautiful.This was a marriage of convenience, but Rey’s appearance was certainly an adder.Even caked in grime, she shone.

The small ship set down and the dock bay opened.Kylo held out his hand, motioning for Rey to enter.She took one look over her shoulder at the vast sandscape behind them and then squared her shoulders and marched in.He followed her to a small table with a bench embanked in the wall.It was not unlike the one that had been in the hold of the Falcon.He shook off the unwanted memory and sidled into the bench beside her, but not too close.Not yet.She still had to feel comfortable, that this was on her terms too.

“So how do we do this?” she said.He liked that she cut right to the chase.

“I’ll tell you what I need and then you tell me what you need.Then we’ll talk about what we might want.”

She was hesitant.“You go first.Everything first, the background, all of it.I just want to know before I make any decisions or say anything else.”

Very well.He nodded.“How much do you know about galactic politics?”He thought the question was a long shot given that she hadn’t recognized him but he didn’t want to insult her by overexplaining what she already knew.

She shook her head.He decided to start basic.“If you know any of this, you can tell me to skip it.I’ll just start at the very beginning.The galaxy has a senate where each planet with a major population is allowed to send two delegates.As you can imagine with the vast number of inhabited planets there are literally tens of thousands of senators.This can mean that the time it takes to come to a consensus can be gruelingly long.Recently the senate chose a supreme leader.”He paused here to catch her eye.“That’s me.The purpose of the position was to imbue someone with the power to act quickly when the senate was too slow.However, recently the senate has grown accustomed to the ease of decision that my position affords.The in-fighting in the senate has come to an all-time high.They have decided that they will name me emperor if I meet the conditions.”

She smiled.“I see now, a condition is ‘find a wife’ then.”

He smiled in turn, soft, a rarity for him but she brought it out with her inquisitive eyes.She was earnest even in the face of this ridiculous circumstance.Here she was with a virtual stranger in the back of some freighter.She had chosen to trust him.Where most people would’ve met his unusual offer with skepticism or even fear, she had chosen to lean into this and be open to the possibilities it might bring.Her trust was refreshing.She was truly extraordinary. 

“Yes, a condition is that I find a wife.In fact, it’s the main condition.”

“But why?I understand why you want me.You’ve made it clear that you want someone outside of politics.I fit that.But why a wife at all?”

Here things grew delicate.“In order to build an empire, a real empire this time around, they want security.Part of the security that they seek is for a plan of succession to come into play once my rule is ended.They want a dynasty.Dynasties mean generational power which means children.Children mean a wife.”

Her face was stunned.He took advantage of her silence and continued.“It would be my one ask of you.It would be on your timeline.Sometime within the next ten years, I would need us to produce an heir.The child would be ours.I don’t mean to use you for a baby and then take it away.As unorthodox as this is, I do mean us to be partners. 

I would rule politically.This is what I’ve spent my life preparing for.But there are other elements that make an empire.I want you with me, not just for the child.We don’t have to love each other, Rey.But I am looking for a companion, someone to share this with.”

“But,” she sputtered, “but you don’t know me at all.How could you know you want that?”

Kylo breathed a sigh of relief.She hadn’t protested, she just wanted more explanation.He could work with that.

“I’ve seen arranged marriages work.I don’t think this will be much different.As long as we respect what we put into this contract, I don’t see us having any issues.”

Her eyes bored into the table, her brows furrowed.She began to absently twist a stray wisp of hair around her temple.The silence continued for far longer than Kylo was comfortable with. 

He began to doubt himself.It had been a long time since he had felt insecure in anything but for some reason he feared Rey’s rejection.Some part of him argued that she was just a scavenger and that her rejection would only mean he was at the same place he was at the start of the day.But the majority part of him had already accepted her into his life, as irrational as it was.The plan to have her beside him had taken root and seemed impossible to get rid of now.His heart was in his throat but he tried to continue to breathe evenly. 

She finally took her eyes off the table and looked at him.“It’s not the children part I’m against.In fact, I’ve never had a family.I’ve been alone all my life, as long as I could remember.Living like I did on Jakku, it’s not something I ever thought I’d get to have, so the idea of having children like this, of knowing they’ll have comfort, a place, a plan - well, it’s very appealing.”

Kylo let out a small sigh of relief.This was good, and certainly an interesting development.

“I guess my answer is yes.”She smiled it was like pure sunbeams.He’d never felt so lucky.She put her hand on his arm and the touch was so unexpected he thought he might stop breathing.“Let’s decide terms.”

This was going to be interesting, indeed.

—————————

Part of the reason Rey had survived so long was because she took things one day at a time.She never allowed herself to get too far ahead with dreams of the future.She held onto just enough hope to get her through but not so much hope as so she became upset with where she was.She thought to herself that this particular attitude was likely why she was so calm right now.One step at a time.

Kylo was typing furiously in a holopad.He turned it to show her what he had written.

“Here are the things that you can make decisions on.First, who we tell the world you are.We can’t let them know your background.The galaxy is big enough that we can make a record for you that no one will know.Second, how you want a wedding.Third, timeline and conditions for.. Um… the child.Fourth, what duties and focuses you might want as empress.You don’t need to know the fourth one right now but the first three should probably be decided here.”

Well, that was a lot.She moved her thumb over the holopad, reviewing what he had written.

“So, I actually do think I have an idea on who I want to be,” she said.He looked at her intently.“I want to be your childhood friend.I don’t know if that makes sense.I know literally nothing about your childhood or even if that’s practical.But it might explain why you trust me, why we could move to intimacy so quickly, and why I am not as well known if I’m just someone from your past rather than the present.”

He smiled.“That’s actually pretty good. We’ll need to fill in a few blanks there, but I like that a lot.It will get rid of the vast majority of questions people may have.We’ll tell them that we were childhood best friends, sweethearts even, and that we’ve recently reconnected.It’s just obvious enough that no one can really question it.”

“We’ll need to get to know each other.It won’t look real if we don’t know each other.”

“That’s a good point.Would you rather our acquaintance be gradual or immediate?”

She was confused.“What do you mean?”

“Would you rather be an hour appointment in my day everyday for six months or would you rather take a weeklong trip with constant companionship to have a ‘crash course’ in creating our backstory and getting to know one another?”

Oh, well that was very interesting indeed.Rey chewed it over in her mind.“Let’s get together for a trip.I don’t know anything about you.I feel like we can learn each other’s idiosyncrasies much better that way.Knowing what irks each other and what makes me laugh will be easier to suss out with more time.Besides, an appointment feels very formal.If we’re to be husband and wife, some intimacy is to be desired.”Oh no.She coughed a little.“ _Emotional_ intimacy, of course.We have to look like we like each other. _Actually_ liking each other does seem like a very real possibility though, doesn’t it?”She hoped she didn’t sound too hopeful or silly.She really was prepared to spend her life with this handsome stranger.She didn’t know anything about politics or the greater galaxy.She just wanted a life with a companion who wished to share it with her.She didn’t care about becoming empress.But having someone respect her and to raise a family with?Now that sounded like heaven. 

Kylo took her from her inner reverie.There was some amusement in his voice but it was gentle.“Yes, I think it seems like a great possibility that we’ll be friends through this.”He broke her gaze and looked at something on the other side of the hold.“I hope so, at least.”Rey was a little taken aback.Kylo Ren was by all means already the most powerful man in the galaxy.His tenderness was unexpected. 

“Um, yes, so the next item? The wedding.I don’t really care.I don’t know much about weddings.I’ve never seen one before, so I don’t know that I have many opinions.Let’s say within the year?” 

Kylo nodded.“That’s fine we can talk more about arrangements and set a date once we debut our courtship to the galaxy.Next.”

There was a small silence as they realized what the next item was.The task of the child…

Mercifully, Kylo took the lead.“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.It can be as much or as little as you like until we conceive the child.The timeline is yours.Obviously we can wait until we’re better acquainted, it’s whatever you want.”

Rey was turning pink.She gave a curt nod.“Okay that sounds find then.We can work on that after the wedding.And I don’t know anything about what running an empire looks like.That can wait until I learn some other things about the galaxy.First step is getting off Jakku.”

“Well, you can already check that one off.”He motioned for Rey to follow him to the window on the other side of the hold. 

Rey’s breath vanished.She had seen the night sky before, of course.But something was very vastly different about being surrounded by the spill of stars than just looking up at them.Her eyes were wide and she couldn’t bring herself to blink or look away from the endless expanse.

She felt Kylo’s hand come to meet her own.“It’s just beginning for us, Rey.There’s so much more to come.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! So much for Rey to see in this wide galaxy and so much for them both to learn about each other


	3. Rek Lep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo takes Rey to her second planet ever and surprises her on Rek Lep

He looked at Rey as she stood mouth open and in awe.He couldn’t help but smile at her rapt attention to the inky expanse dotted with light.He was really going to enjoy showing her the galaxy.If a spill of stars was enough to make her swoon, imagine a forest.Imagine an ocean!An idea came to him.

“Rey-”

“Uh-huh?” Her eyes didn’t leave the view outside the hold window.Kylo stifled a chuckle at her childlike wonder.

“I was going to take you to Coruscant, where I live, but I have a proposition.It’s your choice.We can go to Coruscant or we can stop at Rek Lep first, in the Kappis system.It’s a planet that looks very unlike Jakku.I thought you might like to see something like that.”

“What does Coruscant look like?”

He started and then immediately stopped.She had never seen a city before.How was she to know that a planet made entirely of one city was not the norm.Finally he decided on, “It’s very population dense.The skyscrapers are filled with people and there’s not any nature.Just city.”

“Cities?” she asked.

He smiled.He seemed to be doing a lot of that with Rey around.“No, just one.The entire planet is one city.It’s the planet.It’s the city.It’s all Coruscant.”

“And we’ll be going to Coruscant anyway?”She seemed unphased.

He nodded yes.

“Take me to Rek Lep.Let’s double my planet count.”She turned away from him and went back to staring out the window at the sky. 

“As you wish,” he said.

Kylo was going to enjoy watching her face when she finally saw where the forest meets the ocean on the jagged coastline of Rek Lep.

——————

Kylo had made her come away from the window eventually.He said he didn’t want the surprise of the new planet ruined for her.Rey fidgeted at the table, sliding up and down in her seat with impatience.What was the new planet going to be like?Rey had heard stories of other worlds, read books, but never seen anything for herself.All of that was going to change. 

“We’re here.”Kylo’s voice came from the end of the hold.“Come here.”

Rey raced to the sound of him.

“Now, I want you to cover your eyes.I want it to surprise you.I’ll walk you out of the hold and tell you when to open.”

“I’m not a child, Kylo!”

He scoffed, “Hardly.Let me surprise you.You’ll like it.”

She gave a teasing huff and then closed her eyes.She waited a few moments and then peeked out one of them.Rey really was excited.

“Well, we can’t have that.”

“What?!” Rey cried.

“You’re very obviously peeking.You’re not good at that.”Rey like his sternness.Something in her stomach twitched.She didn’t have time to wonder too much at that though because Kylo came up behind her and reached around so that his hands were covering her eyes for her.“Now, walk ahead as I guide you.”

Rey had to resist the urge to move back into him.She could feel his cloak draped around her and there was this _warmth._ She could feel the heat of him behind her, just inches away.But it was more than that.The warmth was elsewhere too.She could feel it rising in her cheeks.Something warm pooled in her belly.And there in her chest - a blooming warmth.

Kylo began to move forward and she began to stumble forward along with him.It was just walking.Why was this so difficult?Finally they had moved to the end of the loading dock and she felt earth under her feet again.And then suddenly something other than the closeness of Kylo took her breath away.

Rek Lep - Rey could never have imagined that so much green and so much water could’ve ever existed in the whole galaxy let alone in one place.To her left were rolling hills of lush greenery as far as her eye could see.And in the other direction were deep blue crashing waves on until the horizon.She could feel tears come to her eyes.This was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her.

She spun around and threw her arms around Kylo.She reached up on tip toe and buried her face in his chest.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

—————

Rey was crying into the front of his shirt.He hadn’t thought that this simple act would move her like this, that she would react this way.He was going to spend the rest of his life making this girl grateful.Not in a “she’s lucky to have him” sort of way, but more in that she would be happy she made the choice to come with him.He was going to earn the brave scavenger that defied gangsters by herself alone in the desert. She'd never have to be alone again if she didn't want to be. If he was lucky, maybe she’d even give him her heart. 

He was startled by this sudden thought.This was a marriage of convenience, he reminded himself.But there was some small part of him that continued to remind him that convenience didn’t really mean loveless.

As he held Rey close to him, it became increasingly clear that loveless wouldn’t be an option for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seeing Rey say "I never knew there was this much green in the whole galaxy" in TFA has always been one of my favorite Rey moments, so I wanted the opportunity to replay it here and give it a little Reylo twist.
> 
> See you next time!


	4. A New Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo head back to Coruscant

Back in the hold, Rey’s hair still damp from the spray of the ocean as she sat in the hold.It was hard for him to look away.She was so full of excitement it was infectious.He hadn’t felt this way in a long time.He was used to a sort of eager anticipation, but that was filled with a sense of calm.And more than that it felt accompanied by a sense of control.Whatever was coming that he looked forward to in the past had been something that he had carefully planned for.Every success took work and planning.

Rey was something entirely different.She was this unbridled force and had come into his life so suddenly.He had no regrets about asking for her hand in the desert.Even though he could already see that she would upend his life as he knew it.He had always scorned chaos, but Rey was something different.He couldn’t predict what she’d do but something in him grew fluttery at the thought of the surprises that would come with Rey.

There were things to take care of first.

“Rey, when we get to Coruscant, there will be a few things we have to do.I’ll take you to my quarters and you can shower.”

Rey interrupted him.“Shower?!With water?”This woman was going to kill him.She was unbearably cute.

“Yes,” he smiled, “shower with water.And then you can change.I’ve already called ahead to get some clothes ready for you for when we land.During this time I’ll leave you alone as I have a few matters I’ll have to attend to that have come up during my absence.”

Rey nodded, “Okay, that all sounds good to me.”

“Next, if you’re ready we need to make our statement.Sooner is better than later.This statement can be short and sweet.All we need to do is hold a press conference.You’ll stand by my side and I’ll announce our engagement.You won’t need to talk.Unless you want to,” he corrected himself.Rey was a partner in this and he wanted her to feel that way.

“No, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.Yet.I will, I mean.Just not yet.”

He nodded.

“Excellent, let’s try and agree on something now while we have the time.”

Rey thought for a moment and then said, “How about this - ‘Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is pleased to announce his engagement to his childhood friend, Rey.Wedding announcements to follow.’What do you think? It’s simple, short, to the point.People will have questions but we can take more time to think those through when we get to know each other more to figure out what makes sense.”

“I like it.Although.You’ll need a last name.”

Rey made a face.“I don’t have one though.”

“If people are to believe you’re a childhood friend, we’ll need you to have a last name.Where I’m from everyone has one.”

Rey stuttered.“I - I don’t know.I’ve never thought about having one before.I’ve always been just Rey.”Her face got stony.“This feels like a big choice.”

Kylo took her hand.“It’s not forever.You can take mine when we do get married.It’s just for now.I can help you if you want.”

“No, this feels like something I should pick for myself.I just don’t know where to begin.”

“What about something you love?Or something from your home planet?”

Rey smiled, “What do you think of Sand?”When Kylo didn’t immediately respond, she continued, “Oh, I mean, I guess that is rather simple.I can pick something fancier, more noble.I’m just from a desert planet.It made sense, I guess.”She cast her eyes downward.

Kylo took his hand and lifted her chin until she was looking at him.

“Soon you’ll be Ren and it won’t matter.Sand will do for now.”Something fierce and possessive awoke in him when he thought of Rey taking his name.It wasn’t a desire to possess, but more of a sense of connection.Two that shared one name, tethering them in name.He already yearned for greater connection but the promise of this would do for now.

————-

Rey thought she had an idea of what she was getting herself into, but when Kylo had lifted her head and made her look him in the eyes, she felt something deep inside of her move.And then when he had said that she’d take his name, that thing dropped.She couldn’t name the feeling, only that it felt like falling, sudden and exhilarating and a little bit terrifying. 

When they landed on Coruscant, Rey discovered that the ocean and the forest weren’t the only things she’d see today that would take her breath away.The hold opened to a rooftop landing pad and building after building, reaching up towards the sky, panned out before her as far as she could see.Between the buildings crafts flew in organized lines, a scene constantly in motion.There was something organic about this place despite the high metal and glass facades.Rey supposed that was because it was teeming with people.Everyone of those vehicles and buildings held more people than she’d ever seen in her entire life. 

Kylo grabbed her hand and made a sweeping motion with the other as though to offer it all to her.“Welcome home, Rey.”Home.It was thrilling to hear him offer it to her.He was doing so much for her.She only hoped she could be a good enough partner.She wasn’t lacking in confidence.Rey knew her worth.But she did acknowledge her lack of experience.She wouldn’t let Kylo down.She would do what she always did - her best.Rey hadn’t survived as long as she did by doing anything else.

Kylo took her into the rooftop entrance and she was led down the extravagant halls, more extravagant than she could’ve imagined back on Jakku.This was her life now.It was a hard concept to grasp.They came to a large double door, black and engraved with gold markings.It slid open.

“These will be your chambers,” Kylo said.They were gorgeous.A huge, ornate bed frame was in the center of the room.It was plush with blankets and pillows.Rey was already eager to sleep in it.The rest of the room was decorated in lush blacks and reds.It all reminded Rey of Kylo.She wondered if he’d had anything to do with picking out.She quickly dismissed the thought.Supreme Leaders certainly couldn’t have time to decorate a room for a wife they weren’t even certain they’d have.She liked the room anyway.She would be happy to sleep in it and be reminded of him at all.He was her only familiarity, her only constant in what would be her new adventure.

“Where will you stay?” Rey asked.

“I’ll stay in my chambers until we become more comfortable with one another.”Rey’s heart dropped a little.She was surprised to find herself disappointed.Why was that?She had never shared a bed with anyone before so it wasn’t out of a sense of comfort or expectation.Something about this man drew her to him.She couldn’t understand why but it was what made her say yes when he had offered himself to her on Jakku.She was sure it would lead to more in the future.She couldn’t say what but she felt the eagerness growing inside her.

“Of course, that makes sense.”Rey didn’t like it but there was no reason for her to make things awkward between them based on some desire even she herself couldn’t explain.

“I’ll be in the next room tonight if you need me though.You can come at any time if you need anything.Now let me show you to the fresher.”Rey grew giddy at the thought.A real shower! With water!

He waved his hand and a door opened.Inside was a pristine white room, larger than her home in the AT-AT had been.It had everything she ever could’ve imagined.

Rey turned around and wrapped her arms around Kylo.“Thank you.”She reached up on tip toe and kissed his cheek.“I mean it,” she whispered and then turned around and moved towards the shower. 

She heard Kylo somewhere behind her say, “You’re welcome, Rey.I’ll leave you now.”Rey started to get undressed.First she began to unwind her arm coverings, then removed her shirt, her breast bindings, her boots, and leggings.She stepped in the shower and then stopped.She didn’t know how to turn it on.She tried twisting every knob she saw but nothing made the water start.She felt ridiculous, standing naked and alone.What was she going to do?She couldn’t have Kylo return and not have bathed.She was still caked in sand.She couldn’t make an announcement to the entire galaxy like that. 

She didn’t know anyone else on the whole planet.She had no one she could ask for help.Rey made up her mind about what had to be done.She would have to hope Kylo hadn’t left yet.If she put her clothes back on, it would take too long and he might be gone by then.She would have to hurry.Acting on instinct, she wrapped herself in one of the white, fluffy towels and ran in short steps out into the hallway and over to the next room. 

She knocked on the door.“Um, Kylo?”The door whooshed open.He was holding a holopad and sitting behind a thin, minimalist desk.His eyes went wide.

“Rey.”His voice was short.

“Please don’t be mad but… I don’t know how to turn the shower on.”

“I’m not mad.”He still sounded mad.His voice was low and gravelly.Without saying anything else he walked ahead of her until he was in the bathroom.He pushed the knob into the wall and the flow of water started.She hadn’t know it _pushed._ Damn. 

“Is that all?”He wasn’t looking at her.He really seemed upset.Something must’ve shown on his face.“I promise I’m not upset,” he said, voice softening for the first time.Before she could say anything he strode out the door and left her alone with the running shower.The whole thing was very strange.She had so much to learn about Kylo. 

Rey dropped the towel and stepped into the warm spray.Her eyes rolled back.It was better than she ever could’ve imagined.

———————

Rey was going to kill him.He would never become emperor because he had somehow convinced Rey to marry him and she was going to kill him before they could even make the announcement.The irony dawned on him that he had asked her to marry him because he was afraid a wife with political leanings would murder him.He never imagined it would be death by nearly-naked body.

When Rey had shown up in only the white towel, he was ashamed to say that he was hard instantly.Her long, lean legs led all the way up to where the junction of her thighs was barely covered.The towel barely covered her.He wanted to rip that towel off of her.He wanted to kiss her until she pushed her body against him with want equal to his own.But this was on her terms.He never wanted to make Rey uncomfortable, so he had adjusted himself, tried not to look at her, turned on the shower, and got out of there as quickly as possible. 

He had to put her out of his mind.He’d never get anything done if he didn’t.He thought briefly about relieving himself.But he wouldn’t be able to not think of Rey.That felt wrong.She hadn’t given him consent for anything yet.He palmed himself to adjust and groaned. _Think of finance reports, think of being cold, think of anything but Rey in that fucking towel._

This was going to be tougher than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey is still a nobody and no last name for her! I stole the Sand from GoT, but I'm cool with it if you are.
> 
> How will Kylo manage his growing attraction to Rey? Will Rey make sense of her feelings? All to come...


	5. Press Conference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo introduces the galaxy to his fiancee

When Rey emerged from the shower and into the bedroom, there were clothes waiting for her on the bed.It was unexpected.She ran her hand over the gray material.It was sleek and soft.There were dark gray, fitted leggings and she put those on first.Next came the firm top.It was structured and lifted her breasts, clinging with boning to her torso.It left her shoulders and neck exposed.

She looked in a mirror by the bed.It almost didn’t feel right.She still looked like herself.Plain old Rey.Less grimy, sure.But not different.She felt like a foreigner in her body to see herself in these fancy clothes. _Well, you better get used to it,_ she thought to herself.She had a lifetime of nice clothes ahead of her.The thought made her smile.She couldn’t imagine getting used to it, the luxury of it all.She wondered if it would always be a thrill for her.

——————

Kylo could barely keep his mind on the minutia of day to day ruling as supreme leader.He could hardly believe that this was the kind of stuff that used to thrill him.He still loved it, no doubt, he just would’ve given anything to be back with Rey.This was going to be problematic.The whole point of marrying Rey was to become emperor.How was he supposed to focus on the thrill that came with power when he was preoccupied with a thrill of an entirely different sort that Rey gave him?

He signed the last document on the holopad and motioned for everyone else to leave him.Back to the scavenger now.He tried to keep his pace even and his breath regular as he walked towards Rey’s quarters.But when he knocked and she opened the door it was all for nothing.

She took his breath away. 

————————

Kylo’s mouth was open and he looked her over from top to bottom.Rey really couldn’t read him.She wondered what he was thinking.

“Thank you for the clothes.I really like them.They’re lovely.”She ran her hands down her sides and relished the softness of the fabric.“What now?” she asked. 

He cleared his throat and then said, “Now it’s time for the announcement.I set up a press conference.All that’s left to do is attend.Do you feel ready?”He touched her arm.It was gentle and reassuring.“It’s okay to say no.”

Rey smiled.“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.Let’s go.”She threaded her arm through his to link them together.If Kylo was surprised he didn’t say so.He reached his hand down and interwove their fingers.“Lead the way, Kylo.I’m right beside you.”And damn if Rey didn’t like the sound of her own words.

He walked slightly ahead of her, black robes swirling, to an elevator at the end of the hall.It felt incredibly small inside.The bright white lights were in such stark contrast to his robes and it illuminated his skin.He was looking down at her, very close.She couldn’t tell if she could feel his breath on her neck or if it was the movement in the elevator.Her breathing became shallow.For one foolish moment Rey thought he might kiss her.And then the elevator doors opened.

——————

It was a relief when he stepped out of the elevator.He wasn’t sure how he would survive a week alone with her if he could barely manage thirty seconds in an elevator.He shook his head.Time to get down to business.He needed to focus.Rey made that difficult, but this was for them.It was important that he got this right. 

They stepped out from behind the curtain and the were met with a flurry of lights as photographers took their pictures.Rey’s hand tightened in his.He looked over to her.Her face showed no signs of fear or discomfort but he squeezed her hand back anyway.He was here for her.Kylo walked up to the podium and cleared his throat and the crowd quieted.Rey stood a foot away from him, out to his side as he began to speak.

“As you know I grew up on Chandrila.However what many of you may not know is that I have always kept in contact with someone from my youth there.I’d like to introduce you to Rey Sand.” He looked over and met her eyes.“The love of my life.”He felt his throat get tight.Rey’s eyes went wide but her expression hardly changed.Her gaze didn’t break from his.What was he doing?He had to sell this, he told himself.That didn’t stop the pounding in his chest.“Rey is the bravest, kindest person I’ve ever met and I will be honored to have her by my side as I rule the galaxy.No one will have the interests of the people as a priority more than Rey.”He swallowed to try to get rid of the tightness in his throat.“That will be all for today.”

He put his hand on the small of her back and smiled at her as he guided her off the stage.Behind them he could hear shouts of reporters asking questions, a clamor of confusion and interest.Let them wonder.Rey was no longer a secret in the desert, but she was still his.

—————

_The love of my life._ Rey couldn’t stop her heart from pounding in her chest.She knew why it had excited her like that but she had to keep control of her feelings.This was a marriage based on contract and mutual exchange, after all.He had to sell their relationship to the public.She should’ve expected that. 

“What now?” Rey asked.

“Now we wait.Soon the questions will start pouring in.People will ask everything they’re curious about.Once we have an idea of what they want to know, we’ll have a better idea of how to build our backstory.It’ll be the framework for when we spend our week creating the story of us.”

 _The story of us._ Rey liked the sound of that.It seemed to her that she was liking more and more everything that Kylo had to say to her.She was enthralled by the idea of weaving a shared history together, to get to create a story for them.That excitement was balanced with her eagerness to craft a future together as well.What wonders lay in store for the two of them?

“Interesting,” Kylo said.

“What is it?” asked Rey.

“The general tone of the questions are what I expected but some of them surprise me.They make sense.I’ll read you some now. ‘How is Rey Sand someone from Kylo’s past and childhood in Hanna City despite their obvious age difference?What do Kylo Ren and Rey Sand have in common?Has Kylo Ren had a secret relationship for years?How did Kylo Ren reconnect with Rey Sand?Who is Rey Sand?’”Kylo nodded his approval.“We can work with all this.”

Rey nodded.“Okay, so what now?When do we make this up?”

“I’ve settled some affairs and have minimal items scheduled for me for this week.I thought we could spend a week on Naboo.My grandmother was queen there, if you can believe it.We still have a family house that I’ve secured in private.It’s secluded in the mountains and we won’t be bothered.We’ll have plenty of time to answer these questions and get ourselves ready for what’s to come next.How does that sound?”

Like a dream, she thought.A whole week alone with Kylo Ren?She tried hard to contain her excitement.“Sounds like we should get going.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see what these two can get into on Naboo! ;)


	6. A Shared History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During the flight to Naboo, Kylo and Rey try to answer some questions the galaxy has thrown at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long! I had terrible writer's block, but we're back at it now!

Kylo was speaking through a communicator and his tone was… irked.

“What do you mean the lake palace is occupied?”He scoffed.“I’m the Supreme Leader, you don’t suppose you could’ve told them to vacation elsewhere?”His face got stony.“Very well then.We’ll take the hunting cabin.”He smoothed his robes and turned to Rey, setting his face into a still picture again.

“The familial palace I was planning to take you to is… occupied.But I’m told they’ve secured another more secluded location for us.In the meantime, why don’t we work on these questions?”

Rey nodded.“Let’s start with how we met.”

“Yes,” Kylo agreed.“That one seems like the biggest one and certainly the most complicated.”

“I would have some suggestions, but the reality is I have no idea what your childhood was like so I don’t know that my ideas would even make sense.Tell me about it.”

“My childhood?”

“Yes, what was it like?”

“I grew up in a populous city on a busy planet.My father was a pilot and my mother was a politician.I didn’t see either of them much.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hm? For what?”

“About your parents.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh.. It’s just past tense.. I just assumed they’re dead.I didn’t mean!”

Kylo interrupted her.“No, a fair assumption.We’re not close.They didn’t approve of my… life path.”

“Did you have a nanny?”

“I did.”

“Does anyone know who she was?”

A smile broke out over Kylo’s face.“No, no very few people knew who my nanny was.She was an old woman without much family as far as I know.I think I know where you’re heading with this.”

Rey started to get excited.“This is perfect.We can concoct a new nanny for you and just say that I was her daughter.The family kept in touch even after my ‘mother’s’ services were no longer needed and when I was born you knew me to grow up around.”

Kylo pushed his hair back from his face.“This is very good, Rey.Good thinking.”He paused.“Does it bother you?”

“Does what?”

“That I’m older than you?”

“Well, no.I mean.I don’t think so.Just how old are you?”

“I’m 32.”Oh, well that was a little older than she was expecting.

“I’m 24.”Kylo waited for her to comment on the gap.“It doesn’t bother me,” she said.She had a moment of self-consciousness at her inexperience.“I… should I mind?It’s just that I don’t really know about these things.”She could feel the heat rising in her features, a blush spreading across her cheeks.Before her feelings got too far, Kylo stepped in to comfort her.

“Rey, I don’t think you need to be worried.I’m trying to make sure that you’re comfortable.I don’t want you to feel anything but in control.” 

She smiled.“Well, in that case, I’m happy.I like where we are.”

His hand came to rest over hers.“I am too.”

——————

Kylo thought his heart was going to burst when he saw Rey becoming embarrassed over her evident lack of romantic experience.He had done her best to reassure her and she seemed to be happy, but he decided that he would keep checking in.Rey was extraordinary but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t entitled to a few regular responses to the wild events that had taken place and the unique circumstance that she found herself in. 

“Let’s move to the next one, shall we? How did we reconnect?”

“I think reconnection makes sense.You knew me as a child and then again as a woman.Nothing in between.You could see me in a new light.”

Kylo smirked.“You know, you’re very good at this.”

“Good at what?” Rey asked.

“Good at concocting a history for us.You may make a better politician than we had considered.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Why? You never need to be sorry.I’m proud that you’re so good at this.I always want you to shine.”

 _What was he saying?_ He never spoke like this, spoke about his feelings.He was never effusive and forward with his emotions.But Rey brought something else out in him, another side.He should’ve been embarrassed to say he was proud of her, to say words that he himself craved.He should’ve shrunk from the idea that he would praise her so openly and that it would feel so good to encourage her.Rey deserved to know how special she was.He’d only known her for such a short time, but he could feel his heart opening to her with each passing moment.He wondered if she felt anything the same.He would never force his feelings on her.That would be inappropriate.He had laid the terms.This was mutually beneficial.This was not a place for him to foist his emotions on her.She deserved more than his previously unopened heart.

“Well then,” Rey continued, taking him out of his reverie, “let’s just say I reached out to you.On your birthday.”

“I never celebrate a birthday.It’s unnecessary.”

“Oh, um, it kind of sounds like fun to me.”Kylo realized he was a fool.This scavenger in the desert had never had the luxury of a cake, a gift, a party just for her.Of course she would think it’s wonderful.

“Actually,” he corrected himself, “this is good.No one knows my birthday so it would make sense that we have this small intimacy, that you know my birthdate from my childhood.”

She smiled.That made everything better.He always wanted to make her smile.He wanted to give her parties and nice things, everything she’d missed out on in the first 24 years of her life.He’d spend the next hundred making it up to her. 

“Perfect!” A mischievous look passed over her face.“What _is_ your birthday?”

“Summer solstice.”Of course she could know.She could have everything about him, his secrets.Anything she asked for.“Yours?”

“Oh, I don’t know.I wish I did.”

“You never celebrated a certain day or picked one on your own?”

“No, what would I have done anyway?”Kylo felt pinpricks in his heart.

“I’ll tell you what.You decide on a day and I’ll throw you a party you’ll never forget.”He thought for a moment.“If you want that.”

She lit up.“Yes! I would like that very much.”He was going to become addicted to this - giving Rey things she wanted to make her smile.He suspected he was already in deep.

The ship started to touch down.

“Come.I’ll have someone bring our things into the cabin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again so much for reading. I really appreciate all of you! I'm through the writer's block and already plugging away at the next chapter. See you soon!


	7. Lace and Layouts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo arrive at the cabin. And discover something about the layout of their home for the next week...

The cabin was small and surrounded by glistening forest.It was beautiful, like something out of a dream.Rey thrilled at the idea of being here for a whole week.A week alone with Kylo.A week to know him, to create a shared history and to make a connection before the start of their life together.No, _this_ was the start of their life.Or better yet it had already started.It had started the moment he offered her his hand and she had said yes. 

Kylo took her hand and led her down the ramp and up to the front door.He opened it.

“After you.” 

She stepped inside.It was cluttered and worn.It was homey.Kylo stepped through the threshold as well and put his hand on the small of Rey’s back.

“Welcome to our home for the next seven days.”Rey had to conceal a gasp. _Our home._ She wondered how much of what Kylo said that he truly meant.He couldn’t possibly have an idea of the effect his words had on her.When he said he was proud of her, that he wanted her to shine, his words went straight to her heart.She felt it fluttering, something delicate and newly alive. 

“I haven’t ever been here before.No one in my family was a hunter, but I know that friends of my parents used it often.We always stayed in the palace.But I like it here.It’s cozy.”Rey almost laughed.To hear the imposing figure draped in black say “cozy” was such a juxtaposition.In the distance Rey heard the ship they had come in take off to leave the planet.They were in this together now, alone with each other in the forest. 

“I’ll give you a moment if you’d like to change out of your clothes for the press conference into something a little more casual and comfortable.I thought it might be nice if we went for a walk to talk about things.There should be some waterfalls in this region.”

“That would be lovely.”She regarded the bags on the floor.“Um, which one is mine?”

Kylo laughed, “You know I have no clue.I had someone pack these bags for us.Just open one?”Hearing Kylo like this, relaxed and at ease, was appealing.It felt… intimate… in a way she hadn’t known she was craving until it happened. 

Rey leaned down and opened the first bag she saw.Immediately it overflowed with lacy, delicate things.Her cheeks quickly colored.

“Did you- um, did you ask them to pack-” She couldn’t bring herself to name the items that had fallen out of the bag.Almost as quickly as she had asked the question Kylo responded.

“No, no of course not.I asked for basics.I’m sorry if this has made you uncomfortab-”

“No! No!” Rey cut in.“No, I didn’t mean to accuse -”

“No offense taken, honestly, I didn’t know-”

“Of course you didn’t.”

They were rushing over one another to speak and as soon as they were done silence hung in the air.Rey couldn’t believe that she had allowed herself to believe that Kylo had picked out delicate, lacy undergarments for her to wear this week.The idea was ludicrous.He was supreme leader, after all.He had more important things to do than wonder what Rey would look like in her underwear.They would eventually have to see each other that way, but not yet. 

———————

Kylo thought he was going to choke.Who would dare to pack Rey’s bag like that?Did it even contain anything sensible?Someone was going to get force choked.Fired at the minimum.And that she thought he wanted them to pack those things. _You do.You want to see her undressed, only in her-_ He quickly shut the thought away and didn’t allow himself to consider it.He had to be a gentleman.There was no place for those sorts of thoughts.

“Why don’t you take the bag into your room.I’m sure there are other, more _sensible_ clothes in there.”

Rey offered him a smile and picked the bag up and moved to explore the rest of the house.Kylo picked up his bag after a quick check to see whose it was and set to change into something more suitable for a hot walk than his current many layered robes.He hadn’t minded the heat when he was on Jakku, but he’d prefer to be unhindered here on Naboo in the forest on their walk. 

He walked to the back of the house and there were two closed doors.He knocked on the first and heard no answer and opened the door to find a small bathroom.He knocked on the next door.

“One minute!” called Rey.

Kylo huffed.Where was the other room?The cabin was so small.There was no other room.Oh stars.Moments later, Rey’s voice came from around the corner as she walked into the room.

“Why haven’t you changed?” Rey asked.Kylo looked up at her.She was radiant in gray leggings and a flowing top.The leggings had cut outs that were covered in lace, her thighs peeking up at him.The top was gauzy and he could see the binding around her breasts through it.Her hair was tied up in those three neat buns again.He felt hot and exposed.Somehow seeing her brought out this vulnerability in him.It was more than wanting to see her naked.It was wanting to be naked with her. _Get a hold of yourself, man!_

“I didn’t want you to come out and find me… exposed.The bathroom was too small for me to change so I waited for the bedroom.”

“So there’s not…”

“A second bedroom,” Kylo finished.They both sucked in a sharp breath.

“Oh well, no worries, I can sleep on the couch.” Rey was obviously uncomfortable.

“Nonsense.I’ll sleep there.You deserve a night in a real bed.”

“Kylo,” her voice was soft, “you would never fit.”He surpassed a snort.Impudent.But very true.Damn.

“Well, there is a solution,” she continued.

“You’re right,” Kylo said.“I’ll hail the ship and they can bring us somewhere with more suitable accommodations.I wanted to stay here because I thought it was isolated, but I now see that this isn’t sensible.I’ll hail them right away.”

“Oh.”Rey started to blush.Why was she blushing.“I… I had a different solution in mind.”She walked closer to him and grabbed his hand.He felt his heart flutter.What was she doing.Was she out of her mind?Didn’t she know the effect she had on him? _No, of course not, you fool.That’s just your feeling._ “We could share the bed,” she finished.Kylo felt his face turning red.

Rey must’ve seen because the rest of her words came out in a tumble.“I mean, not like anything has to happen, of course, it just seems silly, we are to be husband and wife, and I mean, it could be nice, pillow talk and all that.”

 _Pillow talk._ He had to take control of the situation.She was obviously in disarray and felt like she had to justify herself.She shouldn’t have to do that.Everything she was saying was perfectly acceptable and would be normal. _Normal if you weren’t already harboring feelings and fantasies about her,_ he reminded himself. _But you want -_ Enough of that.Time to take the reigns.He cleared his throat.

“Rey, of course.The bed is plenty big enough for both of us, I’m sure.”She was averting her eyes.She was embarrassed.He raised her head to look at him by moving her chin with his forefinger, gently, ever so gently.He clasped her hand tighter.“Rey, you have nothing to worry about, I promise.This is new for both of us.”She let out a breath of relief and smiled.

“Okay then.Walk and talk now, share bed later.No problem.”

Yeah, no problem, thought to himself.Then he froze.What on earth had they packed Rey for a nightgown?Given what he had seen so far, lace seemed to be the preference.

Stars, he was definitely screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *smiling devil emoji*


	8. Shining Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo finish off their first day together on their trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short little chap here, hope you enjoy!

Things were going pretty well.At least from Rey’s side of things.Admittedly, it had gotten a little awkward between them when they had found out the true nature of their accommodations.. But since then, it had been nothing but pleasant.Rey looked out at the glistening scene around her.Their walk had led them to a quaint waterfall, cascading down over the length of a hill.The spray had coated the surrounding greenery with fairylike crystals of water. 

“We’re really making headway,” Kylo said.

“I know! This backstory thing is coming along nicely,” Rey replied.She couldn’t bring herself to look away from all of the green.She knew it was partly because she still couldn’t believe there was this much green out there in the galaxy, this much beauty and life.But she also knew that she didn’t want to look Kylo’s way because every time she did, she got that _feeling._ She couldn’t quite put words to it yet, but it made her stomach tighten and her breath come short.

“Want to head back?” he asked.

She finally brought her gaze to his.He was still pale despite the heat and the sun.He was cool and calm.She wanted to sink into that feeling, like night on Jakku, a respite from heat.She wanted to run her fingers through that dark hair.She wanted to know if it was as soft as it looked.Were his lips even softer?

She shook the thoughts out of her head.What was she thinking?Kylo Ren had been nothing but civil to her.It was unfair to entertain thoughts like this.Maybe one day… But for now it was all business.

“Yes, heading back sounds nice.I am a little tired.I guess running around a galaxy will do that,” she laughed.

He smiled, a warm contrast, and reached his arm in front of him for her to go first.

——————————

Back at the cabin Kylo set about opening the cupboards.They had been nicely stocked and he had his choice of simple dishes to cook.He had said he just wanted to spend the week him and Rey, which meant no servants.Kylo was a simple man, though, and didn’t mind cooking.Underneath his Supreme Leader exterior was a man who enjoyed life’s small pleasures.Cooking for Rey would be one of them now.

“What do you have for us?Let me know how I can help,” Rey said.

“No, it’s my treat tonight.You’re tired.You can try tomorrow if it suits you, but sit back for now.”Something settled in his chest.He liked this, he realized.He liked taking care of her. 

“Do you like usalto noodle?What about kalumsa?”

Rey’s face was blank. “Mostly I just ate whatever portions they had at the station, so I can’t say I rightly know.” Oh.

“Well, we can find out tonight.If you don’t like it I’ll make you something else.”

“Thank you,” she smiled.It was so easy to make her smile.He loved the feeling it set off inside of him.It was something he was unfamiliar with, something sweet and small. 

“Here’s a datapad.Feel free to browse through whatever you want while I cook.” 

Rey began browsing and Kylo began to make the meal.It was nice, this companionable silence.He had been worried that awkwardness would find them again, but it never did.It was wonderful to be silent with her.He realized that he preferred acquainted silence with Rey to almost any conversation he could remember having recently.She was wonderful.And they hadn’t even known each other for long, but he could still feel the effect she was carving out on his heart.

After a time, he brought the steaming pile of noodles and fish to her.She was so engrossed in whatever she was reading that she hardly noticed the food until it was under her nose.She lit up.

“This smells incredible!”

“Why don’t you give it a try?” he asked.She took a bite and let out a moan.He was fighting smugness. _And wouldn’t you like to make her moan like that when you-_ enough of that.He began eating his own dish.Fighting his baser desires around Rey was becoming more and more difficult.But he was a man of honor.He cared about her.He would only do what was right by her and his more irrepressible urges would just have to be repressed for now. 

Rey took a second helping and then Kylo did the dishes.Then they both sat down at the table.

“Time for bed, for me I think,” Rey said.“I haven’t got a clue how long I’ve been awake for but I’ll reckon this will be the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had.”She stood up and walked to the bedroom.Kylo followed her.It took him a moment to realize that his fists were clenched.You can do this, he told himself.He took a deep breath and attempted to release the tension. 

Rey reached down into her bag and began sorting through the lacy things there. 

Kylo realized what was about to happen and his stomach dropped. _Unacceptable, you’ll never survive a night -_ shut up, he told himself.Now was not the time to panic.Although that voice inside of him was right.He’d never survive a night alone in bed with Rey if she wore lingerie.In retrospect, the lacy garments made sense.They had just announced their engagement.His lackeys would have no way of knowing the arrangement when they packed the bags.He sighed.He would _reasonably_ have to forego force choking the responsible parties. 

But making sense aside, he would have to come up with some solution that avoided him having a raging hard on for the entire night.An idea sprung to his mind.

“Rey, are you… comfortable with what you were packed to sleep in?”

“Admittedly, the lace is soft, but no.I guess…. I’d just prefer to sleep in something … more?” She was all blush.Still forging through despite her discomfort.His warrior girl. 

“How would you feel about taking something from my bag instead?Frankly most things would eat you up” _bad bad bad choice of words_ “so I imagine you can find an alternative nightgown to wear from my clothes.” 

This could just work.All she had to do was say yes.

“Okay.” She straightened up and brightened at the thought.Okay, good, good.She bent over and selected an oversized, plain black shirt from his bag.

He stood there for a second.

“Oh, right, I’ll go make us a cup of tea, you change here.”Since when did Kylo Ren turn into a bashful idiot?People were _afraid_ of him.People _respected_ him.There were whole systems that knew he’d destroy them if they ever got out of line.But Rey?In her nightgown?Unfathomable.It reduced him to an absolute mess.How was he supposed to function and rule an empire when the mere sight of her erased everything else from his mind?

He busied himself making the tea and just as the pot started to whistle, he heard Rey’s voice from behind him.

“Much better!”

He turned around.Something in his gut clenched.He hadn’t prepared himself for this.This feeling of _possessiveness_ that clawed in his chest when he saw her draped in his clothes.She was so small in them, drowning in the sea of black.He began to grow uncomfortably erect and he turned to remove the kettle, adjusting himself with his back to Rey.How could he have been so fucking stupid?

He would never be able to unsee Rey in his shirt, her naked legs rising to the hem of that seemingly ordinary article of clothing.He would never be able to erase this image from his mind.Rey owned him now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is overnight and a lot more from Rey's perspective! How will they overthink while mere inches away from each other? Time will tell...


	9. Bedtime and Imagination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben get ready to turn out the lights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really am sorry this is so short. I'll try and get another one up quick. In the meantime, please enjoy watching them fantasize and squirm!

As Kylo and Rey sat sharing the warm cup of tea before they headed to bed, Rey was very unsure of how the night would go.She had never shared a bed with anyone before. 

“Um, Kylo?I wanted to talk something through with you.Look, I’m perfectly happy to share the bed with you, it’s big enough for the two of us so there’s no reason someone should be crammed on the couch.That being said… I worry.”

Kylo’s face turned deathly serious.

“You have nothing to worry about, I-” 

Rey cut him off.“No, no, nothing like that.I’m just worried that I’m going to roll over in the middle of the night.I’m worried in my sleep I won’t stick to my side.I just wanted to tell you that if it happens it’s not my intention.I’m a very heavy sleeper so you can just roll me back to my side.”Rey was very proud of herself, she hadn’t blushed once through this speech.

Kylo’s features softened.“I’ll tell you this, Rey.I promise that I won’t come to your side of the bed.You needn’t be worried there.If you cross to mine, it’s not a problem.I’ll be gentle.”

Hearing Kylo say he would be gentle made something stir inside of her.She wondered what it would be like to kiss him, if he would be as gentle as when he promised her things.The way that he said he’d take care of her, that he would never make her uncomfortable, it made her relax and warm.She imagined kissing him for a moment, his soft lips on hers, rocking into his body.What would it be like to stand on tip toe to meet him?She stopped herself.She couldn’t think like this.If she did, she’d undoubtedly wake up next to him, curled up around him.He had been so careful to promise to never make her uncomfortable.It would be unfair of her to entertain these thoughts and end up on top of him.He deserved to not be uncomfortable as well.He had taken such care with her.He even anticipated her discomfort at sleeping in the lacy negligee that had been packed for her.Letting her wear one of his shirts had been endearing.She was ashamed to admit but she had held it up to her face and smelled it when she had been alone to change.It had smelled of clean laundry and she had been disappointed.But why would it smell like him?It wasn’t as though he had worn it first.She had to snap out of this. 

Kylo pushed back from the table and took Rey’s empty mug and his own to the sink.He held his arm out and motioned for her to go towards the bedroom.She swallowed and headed that way.She could absolutely do this.People shared beds all the time.This was a thing of small consequence.Her pounding heartbeat told her something else, but she ignored it as best she could. 

————————————

Kylo watched Rey walk ahead of him.His sweet, Rey.Could he call her that?She wasn’t his, not really.They had an agreement, not a belonging.He glanced down to watch her walk. _Mistake._ The shirt he had given her barely covered her.It was too much.How was he supposed to spend the night with her?

Looking at her in his shirt made something possessive spark up inside of him.He knew the shirt didn’t smell like him, but something in him wished he had given her the shirt off his back from when they had gone hiking.He wanted her covered in his sweat.More than that, he wanted to cover her body with his, mark her with his sweat, make her come undone underneath him, hot and humid.He wanted to cover her like some feral animal.He imagined it, what it would’ve been like to strip in front of her, make her look at him without his shirt before she put it on.He imagined pulling her in, smelling her sweet scent mix with his own musky one.He wanted that perfume, that mix, right where her neck met his shirt.He wanted her so badly. 

He had to snap out of this.He could feel himself growing hard again.He looked up and realized he hadn’t noticed Rey staring at him.

“Do you have a side?”

Kylo stood there looking like an idiot.

“Of the bed?” Rey clarified.Right.

“I generally sleep in the middle of it, so your choice.I’ll have to adapt no matter what.”Kylo would’ve like to sleep in the middle still, Rey pressed close to him, no sides, just one bed together.

“I’ll take right side, closer to the window.”

“Perfect.” 

Rey got in and stared up at him from under the covers.She looked so small. There would be more than enough room for both of them.

———————————

As she looked up at him from the bed, Rey felt ridiculous.He stood there at the foot of the bed with his fingers on the light switch, ready to extinguish it.He towered over her.She felt like a child waiting to get tucked in. 

And how would that play out? She wondered to herself.She imagined him coming close to her as she hid everything but her face under the covers.He would lean down and kiss the crest of her forehead.She pressed her legs together.She could feel herself getting warm.

This was stupid.She couldn’t allow this fantasy to go any further. 

“Ready?” he asked.

She nodded.The lights went out.


	10. Time to pine before the sun doth shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben spend the night together, each draped in their own feelings and assumptions

Despite being bone tire, Rey was having a difficult time falling asleep.She couldn’t help but focus on the steady in and out of Kylo’s breath a mere two feet away from her.She had never slept near anyone ever before and it was a new experience that was taking a little more to get used to than she had originally anticipated. 

She could do this though.All she had to do was fall asleep.Then she could wake up in the morning and they could continue getting to know one another. 

Things had been so easy with him.So why couldn’t falling asleep next to him be easy too?The way their conversation had just flowed when they were on their walk made Rey believe he would be an easy life companion.She caught him looking at her when he thought she wasn’t noticing.But she _had_ noticed and she knew the way he smiled at her, softly and full of warmth.Kylo Ren was an intimidating figure.She knew that objectively.She knew you didn’t make plans to become emperor of a galaxy without some cunning and ruthlessness.But all she could see was the man that was soft for her and her alone. 

The gentle way he directed her as she navigated this new position was not lost on her.She didn’t take it for granted, especially after she had seen how brusque and intimidating he was with the press.By all accounts she should be afraid of the man lying next to her.All she could feel was a growing spark she wished would die down.

It was completely unreasonable for her to already want to break the terms of their agreement.She knew what this was.They were in a position based on mutual respect.That mutual respect only worked if she stayed within their guidelines.Those guidelines did not include wanting to run her fingers through his dark hair, combing their way through the flow.It did not include wanting to see if his lips were as pillow-soft as they looked.It certainly did not include any errant feelings of lust she had, how she had wished he had come to bed dressed in less than the shirt and leggings, how she wished he had touched her before they went to bed. 

How she wished he would touch her now.

She would take any touch from him, if she were being honest with herself.Even if he had just extended one hand to reach across the two feet between them to touch her own, that would be enough.But if she were even more honest with herself, she would admit she wanted more.She wanted to be touched by Kylo Ren in ways she wasn’t sure she could articulate yet.But she couldn’t admit that to herself.Because that would mean those feelings would tumble free into existence and she’d be forced to reckon with them.She wasn’t sure she could do that and be a good fake fiancee at the same time.This was going to require work, as fun as it had been so far.

 _Be a good girl, Rey,_ she thought to herself, willing herself to forget that Kylo was so close to her.Eventually the exhaustion caught up with her and she drifted into sleep.

————————

Rey’s breathing eventually became steadier and Kylo could tell when she was finally at rest.He let out his breath.He hadn’t realized he had been holding it, breathing shallowly.He hadn’t wanted to distract her with mindless pillow talk.She must have been exhausted.They had been through so much since they had met.It was hard to believe it had all happened so quickly.He felt so close to her.

About a half hour into Rey sleeping and Kylo lying awake and trying not to think about Rey sleeping next to him through the night, something shifted in the dark.

Rey half-mumbled something incoherent and then rolled a turn and a half towards him. 

Suddenly Kylo found himself embraced by Rey in her sleep.He was on his back and Rey had come to gently rest half atop him.Her leg was throw carelessly between his own legs and her head rested on his chest.

He sucked a sharp breath in.He had not been prepared for any physical contact.Especially not contact that was as overwhelming as this.He could feel every inch where her body pressed into his.He could feel her steady breathing, her chest pushed up against his left side.Her touch like this was more than he ever imagined it was going to be.

And, stars forgive him, he _had_ imagined it. 

When she had thrown her arms around him on Rek Lep, embracing him, it had sparked something inside of him that refused to die.He wanted Rey’s touch.

He had denied himself anything more than the slightest accidental touch since the press release when he had guided her with his hand on her lower back.And even then, he had hardly let himself sink into.It was a small touch.Kylo Ren had been dreaming of Rey’s full embrace, feeling every inch of her body press into him, giving control to him.He wanted to bury his face in her neck, taste her, clutch his fingers in her hair and never let her go.He wanted her completely.

And this was a taste of that.

Rey moaned and wriggled against him, making herself draw somehow even closer to him.He fought with himself about what to do next.He really _should_ follow her guide and roll her back to her side.She said she wouldn’t wake up.But she had been through so much.She must be so tired.He hated the idea of waking her.

 _Surely letting her rest a while like this with me couldn’t harm anyone,_ he thought to himself.And something wicked inside him was released.It was like with the permission he gave himself to be with her, all his other feelings let loose too.Here, wrapped in her scent, her hair brushing against his neck, her breathing steady with his, he could not deny what was building inside him.

_He wanted her._

And he wanted more from her than just this agreement.The agreement was to benefit both of them, but damn it all, he wanted more.He wanted her every waking moment.He wanted to know everything about her past.He wanted to heal the parts of her that hurt.He didn’t know with certainty what they were but he knew that no girl could be a scavenger alone for that long without carrying some hurt.He wanted to kiss it away.He wanted to listen to her chirp silly stories to him like she had done on the flight from Rek Lep.He wanted to protect her from the senate, from the press, from all the expectations that were going to come. 

If he were a better man, he’d want to protect her from himself, from the feelings that were running out of control in his chest.He didn’t know how he was going to contain this.It could be years before Rey truly let him in, if ever.It was never part of the agreement that she would have to.He knew he had to win her over.He had to win her love before his own growing infatuation consumed him from the inside out.It would burn him alive if he let it.

He wrapped his free arm around her and recognized the hum of satisfaction that he let loose.She belonged her with him.She fit into his own body so perfectly, it would be hard to think anything else. 

Kylo let his hand come up to play with a lock of her hair.And if he kissed her soft brow while she was asleep, no one was around to know.

And when the morning birds started to chirp and light came in through the blinds, he gently moved Rey back to her side of the bed before she could wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this one at least half as much as I did!


	11. As it comes along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo you absolute MADMAN, you stayed up ALL NIGHT last night?! What are you going to DO now?! HOW are you going to function!? Better not let your guard down in a moment of weakness…

Kylo was going to need more than the caf he was already drinking.He was going to need _a lot_ more if he was going to get through this day.He was exhausted.And of course Rey was a chipper beam of sunlight the second she got up.He didn’t know why he hadn’t predicted that.It made all the sense for her in the world.Kylo was only capable of a handful of words and grunts pre-caf even on the best days.But for however tired he was, it was worth it.It was all worth it to have held Rey in his arms for a time. 

“I said, can I get you anything else?” Rey was peering down at him and eggs were in front of him neatly situated on a plate.How on earth did that get there.Had she been talking to him before?Stars, he really was tired.He would have to put on a brave face though.He could absolutely, not ever admit what he had done last night.It was truly ludicrous to think about.He had stayed up _all night._ And sure, he was exhausted, but how could explain to Rey why?The truth was obviously out of the question.He imagined it.“ _Oh yes, well in fact I just had to touch you so badly that I waited until you unconsciously threw your body on mine and then I loved it so much that I didn’t stop you and stayed up the whole night to bask in your warmth and your embrace.”_

Yeah.That wouldn’t go over well.Any of the other lies wouldn’t work either.He couldn’t say “you made me uncomfortable so I couldn’t sleep” or “I’m not used to sleeping with someone else” because then she would insist that she take the couch.Couldn’t have her doing that. 

So instead he said, “Not much of a person pre-caf,” and grunted something else unintelligible.Let her think he was always like this in the morning.He would have to figure out the rest of the day as it came along.

————————————

Rey had to keep herself from chuckling constantly this morning.She had no idea that Kylo would be so hopeless without his morning cup of caf.How did this man expect to run an empire?What if duty called in the middle of the night?What would he do then?Expect the crisis to stay on hold until he had gotten a mug or two in?An absolutely ridiculous proposition.

Still, despite how funny it was, she did find it somewhat endearing.Her sleepy, grumpy supreme leader.Rey had shied away from saying it before, but there really was part of him that was hers.She felt a little flutter in her chest every time that she thought about that.She had been so worried that she would be unable to fall asleep next to him, but she had slipped into slumber fast enough.She wanted to cuddle him, but she knew that was out of the question.Maybe when they finally slept together after the marriage there could be some cuddling.But that was a long way off.She would have to control her feelings until then. 

Kylo glanced up at her and gave her a soft smile.The softness was just for her.

This was going to be harder than she thought.A theme, it would seem.

————————————

Rey had insisted on another walk.Kylo thought he might die.It was so warm and he was still dressed in all black.He didn’t have much of a wardrobe outside of that.At least the foliage provided some protection.She had endless energy, it seemed, and he loved watching her go, even if the mere prospect of being as active as she was tired him out.

She was strong.It was easy to admire her form as she scrambled up rocks to look at new views, running ahead, climbing up trees to look at small birds.Her wonder was child-like.Not childish.That distinction made all the difference.She was beautiful, a woman who had known hardship and still, somehow, managed to flourish.He couldn’t imagine the way she had lived for so long, alone and in a battle against a harsh planet environment that wanted her dead.She hadn’t told him much about her life on Jakku yet, but he hoped she would someday.He hoped she would trust him enough.

They reached a clearing with a rock outcropping underneath a sole tree in the middle of the field.The field looked out from the mountains towards the cliffs that dropped off into a lake below.Waterfalls cascaded from the cliffs into the lake.The palace was visible in the distance.It was a truly stunning view. 

They walked towards the rock formation under the enormous tree.It was steep and only a small portion of it was flat enough to sit on.Rey sat cross-legged on the surface.Kylo made a move to sit on the ground next to her, but she started patting the section next to her, eager look on her face.He was exhausted.It would be nice to sit.It would be nice to sit next to Rey. 

He plopped down.Their thighs touched.He loved how warm she was, his own personal sunshine, lovely and invigorating.He could bask in her glow forever.It was just a fraction of the touch he had experienced last night, but it thrilled through him. 

Without thinking he leaned down and rested his head in her lap.

For a few terrifying seconds nothing happened.Realization of what he had done hit him like a pail of cold water.He froze.

And then, small fingers began to thread through his hair.Kylo let out a groan of pleasure.It had been so long since he had been touched like this.Rey began to hum some tune he didn’t recognize as she massaged his scalp, scratching lightly.

“I haven’t had this in a long time,” he said after a while.

“No one has played with your hair?It’s lovely.It deserves to have fingers run through it.”

He was silent for a time.

“No, I mean no one has touched me like this.”He paused again.“Without artifice, I mean.No one has just touched me with care without some sort of agenda or manipulation.I haven’t been…”He hesitated.He had already revealed so much.But Rey finished his thought for him.

“You haven’t been loved.”

Relief washed through him.She understood.He didn’t have to explain, to make himself terrified of revealing the words by speaking them out loud.She had helped him and done it for him.

She continued, “I’m here now.You don’t need to worry anymore." She paused, fingers still doing magical work on his scalp. "I can imagine your isolation, you know.We’ve both been alone for so long, in different ways.I’ll do this as often as you let me.I love touching you.We have each other now.”

Nothing had ever felt so right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient with me. I am currently moving cross country and trying to find a new job, so this fic kind of got put on the back burner, but I promise I won't ever forget it!


	12. Does it make you see red?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! Our boy allowed his guard down and now he panics. Big time. *Someone* has never done any therapy for letting negative thoughts and feelings spiral. *Someone* has vulnerability issues. But mayyybeee *someone* doesn’t have to face them alone. Maybe.

When Kylo awoke in the meadow, Rey’s hands were still carding through his hair.For one small moment, he was not supreme leader.All his ambition fell aside.He could not remember his ruthlessness, the difficulty of his life that had made him capable of cruelty.He forgot the mistreatment from Snoke that had left him hardened and vigilant.All of his plans and designs fell away for a moment and he was just a man alone in a sunny field with a woman.A woman who cared for him.He hummed with pleasure. 

But then, as he slowly returned to consciousness, all the things that made him Kylo Ren came back to him.He remembered that he had to be calculating and careful.He remembered that vulnerability could ruin him.He remembered that power was his ultimate quest and he remembered everything he had done to bring him here to this moment - the struggle, the suffering, killing Snoke, the loneliness, his relentless planning to make sure he could fulfill his ultimate goal of becoming emperor.His walls began to rebuild. 

He felt the soft, gentle hands continue to loosely braid and unbraid his hair, the fingers scratching lightly against his scalp, and he remembered Rey too.

 _This is just a moment,_ he told himself. _Allow yourself to enjoy it and then move on._ He knew in his heart of hearts that the softness, the joy that Rey made him feel was something private.It wasn’t something to be shared.He could be this way with her but the majority of his life was going to be spent in front of the public, leading the galaxy.This softness was but for a moment only.After tomorrow, the mask went back on.The cold, impersonal wall between him and the galaxy had to be erected again.There was plan he had made to rule the galaxy and he must fulfill it.He had allowed himself to forget that during the last day with Rey.The feelings he had for her were true, no doubt, but he couldn’t allow himself to get carried away.They were not shared.This was an arrangement.

Then, the hands in his hair stopped. 

“I wasn’t sure how long you’d sleep for,” Rey said.“You were so peaceful.I didn’t want to wake you.”

He snorted.Peaceful?

Kylo felt anger build in himself.He was familiar with anger.It could be worn like a cloak to protect himself from the outside world, to make people fear him, to intimidate others into getting what he wanted.But this time the anger was directed inwards.He was angry at himself.Angry for allowing himself to believe that this silly fantasy with Rey was real.Peaceful?He was not a peaceful man.He was a murderer and he had an entire galaxy by the throat to give him more power, power he was hungry for like nothing else in his life.He was cold and calculating.He may have been still, but he couldn’t believe himself to be peaceful.A man like him should know no peace.He didn’t deserve it.He had spent the entire night awake in her arms and for what?To feel close to someone?The reality of his situation was that he would be alone for the rest of his life as emperor.Rey would be a safe haven, but this was an agreement they shared.What had he really achieved by allowing himself to be lured in by her softness, her goodness?Nothing.Nothing but fueling a delusion.

He sat up and cleared his throat, brow furrowed.Rey looked at him, confused.She could sense the change in energy, feel that something was wrong.He briefly felt guilty for causing this confusion in her but it was for the best. 

“Kylo?”

“Let’s go back to the cabin.Enough for today.”He wiped his hands over his face.He was angry.But he couldn’t allow that anger to spill onto Rey.She didn’t deserve it.The anger was for him.

“What’s wrong?”Her face was concerned.

“What do you mean?”He was in control of this situation. 

She scoffed and waited for him to say something else.When he didn’t, she said, “I’m not an idiot, Kylo.We were having a nice moment and now you’re angry.”

“I’m not angry.”His tone was terse.He cursed himself.He sounded angry.

She was quiet.He could feel the anger boiling inside him. 

“You don’t need to lie to me.”

“I’m not.”She was infuriating.She was making this worse.Why couldn’t she let him alone?

“Stop.I’m not going to let you shut me out like this.I don’t deserve this.Why are you angry?!”

“I’m not angry!” he bellowed.

His words echoed in the forest, resounding, a damnation.It left a chasm of silence between them.Kylo looked at Rey and expected to see her own anger.But when he met her eyes, he realized he was a fool. 

He remembered why he chose her, her stubbornness and refusal to be afraid in the face of the Hutts.This was not a girl who would back down.She was not afraid of him.She would not be intimidated by his anger.She simply looked… concerned.

Rey broke the silence.“Not angry, huh?” 

It was teasing.It was light.He felt some of the shame start to rise from him.There was no damnation in her tone, no betrayal. 

He began to smile.So did she.

“Alright,” he admitted.“I’m angry.”

“You’re angry,” she repeated.“Care to tell me why?”

He pulled her under his arm and kissed the top of her head.She did not resist.He stood there for a moment, with his arms around her.He couldn’t bring himself to tell her why, to open himself up to her.But he knew closing her out was wrong too.

“I’ve been alone for a very long time, Rey.I’m… still adjusting,” he managed.

After some time, she pulled away and looked him square in the eyes.“You’re allowed, you know.”Her eyes held determination, the same steely determination that she had when she’d confronted gangsters alone in the desert.

“Allowed what?” he asked.

“To be afraid.”When he didn’t respond she forged onwards.“To be vulnerable.”

Her words didn’t erase the fear and anger he felt, but he felt an acceptance towards his emotions, as though he were riding the waves of them instead of fighting against them.He took a deep breath and acknowledged them.He was afraid.He was angry.But he wasn’t alone.

“You don’t have to change all at once.You don’t have to let me in so quickly if it will make you panic.But don’t lock me out.We deserve this.”She motioned to the space between them.“We did this so you could become emperor, yes.But also so we don’t have to be alone anymore. _That’s_ the convenient part of this.We don’t have to face this alone.We have each other now.”

She was right.He sighed a breath of relief. 

“We have each other,” he repeated.The panic continued to subside.

“That’s right.And if you forget it, I’ll make sure to remind you.” 

“Thank you, Rey.”He couldn’t bring himself to say more but he knew that Rey wouldn’t push him, that she understood.They were in this together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you think I forgot you?! I COULD NEVER. I finally got a new job so I can come back to writing fanfiction. I missed you all! Thank you so much for being patient and sticking with me. I honestly appreciate each and every one of you so so much. Thank you for reading and I can't wait to keep going with our angsty space prince and brave warrior girl. More to come!


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